My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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