The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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