Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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