why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
