apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
