I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
