Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
