I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
