I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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