Christians are straight up FREAKS
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
