he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Someone shattered a urinal.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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