I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
