Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize