she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
