Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize