one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize