it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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