R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
