It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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