Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
