I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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