There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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