The brown eye won't let me do that either.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
