Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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