Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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