Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
