Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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