turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
