go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize