The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
