we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
