i can't believe i had my finger in that
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
