The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
