she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize