Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
