Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
