I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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