did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
