the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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