Screwed.edu
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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