for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
