just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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