I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
