hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
