The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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