I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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