If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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