Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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