hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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