It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
