Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm at about main and main street
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
