That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Let's get the cat blown out
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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