Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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