Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
