Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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