i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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