mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize