Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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