Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
