Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
