Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
