You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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