I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
