I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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